By the Light of Bay.

January 26, 2015 / 40 Comments

I just (reluctantly) removed my leg lamp from my bay window. At three weeks past the New Year, a leg lamp is less holiday humor and more eccentric weirdo.

One of the nicest things about the electric sex in my front window is the lovely, soft glow that permeates my living room. It really cozies up the joint. I didn’t want to lose that sexy glow just because the holidays are over, but what could I put in my bay window that wouldn’t look weird year round? Hmm… What, oh what, could I put in there?… (No, I already know. I’m just pretending to ponder in order to build suspense to make this post more entertaining. Don’t scroll down or you’ll ruin it…)

First things first. This window needed some paint. Were you aware that painting a window sucks? I had my suspicions, but it turns out it sucks even more than I had imagined.

I taped off the glass, but I thought I could freehand around the tracks. Nope. I had to pause painting and add more freaking tape.

Then getting the tape off was another nightmare requiring tweezers, a razor blade, anger management, and surgical precision. I’m sure there’s a better way to do this but, frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. I am never doing this again. Evah!

GWTW_Optimized I can say this with 100% certainty because the rest of the windows in my crappy house are vinyl. And if anyone ever asks me to help them paint their windows, I will politely tell them to bite me.

Anyway, here’s how it turned out.

Looks pretty, right? This color is Sealskin, by Sherwin Williams in semi-gloss finish. It’s a very dark… um… gray. Whatever! I like gray!

So now it’s time to bring sexy back. Any thoughts on how to accomplish this? Oh, I know! How about a chandelier? What. You think a chandelier hanging in a bay window will look weird? Well, you’re forgetting two things:

  1. Everyone thinks the coolest trends are weird at the beginning.
  2. I don’t freaking care what you think.

I don’t have power running into the bay window, but that’s OK. I found a pretty chandelier and converted it to a swag (plug in) style. Did you even know you could convert a hard wire chandelier into a swag? Well, you can when you have mad electrical skills like I do. And it’s even easier when your chandelier comes shipped to you like this:

In pieces! A welcome surprise for me, but probably not most people who buy this chandelier… So all I had to do was buy an extension cord that was long enough to reach my outlet, cut off the female end (That’s the end with the holes…because, you know…females…with the holes… Come on, people! That’s electric sex 101!), and thread it through the center column, then wire it up to all of the arm lights. And voila!

Perhaps, when people drive by my house, they think, Hmm. A chandelier in a bay window. That’s odd. Those people are stupid. Personally, I think The Bay Window Chandelier is going to be a trend that sweeps the nation, if not the globe. You watch. And don’t forget whose brilliant idea it was…

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40 Comments

  • Jill

    January 27, 2015 at 11:30 am Reply

    It’s bee-yootiful! And you did it all by yourself without getting electrocuted. Remarkable!
    (I’m afraid of changing the switch plate covers in case I get electrocuted.)

    • My Crappy House

      January 27, 2015 at 3:18 pm

      Really, wiring a lamp is VERY easy. It’s probably more dangerous changing a plate cover because you’re near live wires (unless you turn off the breaker, of course, but no one ever does that when installing plate covers…). I bet you could do it!

    • My Crappy House

      January 27, 2015 at 3:20 pm

      I hear you. I think, once you see it in context with all of my living room stuff, you’ll be on board. (Or, off the sill… lol)

  • Katherine

    January 27, 2015 at 1:18 pm Reply

    Tee hee Jill. I’m thoroughly frightened of electricity, too. But this looks great! You’ve got some very useful skills there.

    • My Crappy House

      January 27, 2015 at 3:21 pm

      Thanks! You and Jill both could totally wire a light without electrocution. I promise you, it’s a zap-free experience!

  • Sylvia

    January 27, 2015 at 1:21 pm Reply

    I love it! Most of the bay windows in my neighborhood are full of dying or dead plants. Not exactly attractive. I also love the dark paint. It looks great and very dramatic…just like you

    • My Crappy House

      January 27, 2015 at 3:25 pm

      Right?? My mom had plants in hers, but she took care of them. I have a black thumb, so I’d be one of the ones with the dead foliage. (Plus Egor would totally eat them.) This is a no maintenance solution

  • Judy

    January 27, 2015 at 1:42 pm Reply

    I happen to think that ‘different’ = ‘awesome’ most of the time and you’ve really hit the spot with this one.
    In fact I like it so much that I’m wondering if I should sell my flat-windowed house and buy one with bays……!

    • My Crappy House

      January 27, 2015 at 3:26 pm

      Thank you! You know, you don’t have to move! You can replace your flat window with a bay for a lot less hassle. Packing sucks…

    • My Crappy House

      January 27, 2015 at 3:39 pm

      Egor is a total ham. I never coax him into photos. He sees the camera and he makes sure he’s in the shot. He knows he’s cute

  • Barb in CT

    January 27, 2015 at 6:41 pm Reply

    Brilliant. I wanted a chandelier in my CLOSET and settled for a chandelier windchime that hangs off the crappy light fixture. Chandeliers ROCK.

  • Charmaine

    January 28, 2015 at 9:25 am Reply

    I must admit…I love bay windows and I love chandeliers…and this is unique (You ARE AWESomELY creative!!) But it kind of leads me to wonder…chandelier?? curtain behind it?? is this a Halloweeny thing? or a spooky-ish thing? I would suggest some other decorative elements with the chandelier like dressing the window to a theme…you could even trade certain elements out for different holidays…nothing too time consuming or fancy, mind you….even some tools, tape and DIY stuff….that way it has a message…that’s it…somehow seeing the lone chandelier in the window had me thinking it was some kind of message…never mind…maybe my meds are wearing off too soon! ha ha ha LOL LOL
    Anyway, don’t mind me…I think you’re awesome!!

    • My Crappy House

      January 28, 2015 at 12:39 pm

      lol you just gave me an image of floating hammers and wrenches hanging around my chandelier in my bay window. I wonder what message that would send?

  • Margaret

    January 28, 2015 at 9:43 am Reply

    I love the look of the chandelier in the window. I think it’s FABULOUS. The only thing I really don’t care for is the sight of the chain hanging. I think it kind of takes something away from the chandelier itself. Without the chain in sight I think the whole creative concept is PERFECT. I know you really don’t care what I think, but you can kick my ass when you see me next. Just sayin!!!

    • My Crappy House

      January 28, 2015 at 12:42 pm

      I couldn’t kick your ass if I tried. Well, maybe when if you get old and feeble. Not much I can do about the chain, as it’s a swag fixture. I originally had it hanging behind, but that looked crappy from the living room side. I’d rather the “private” side look better than the “public” side, you know?

  • GK

    January 28, 2015 at 4:54 pm Reply

    Imma say it, I don’t like bay windows. But this is the best bay window transformation ever. Everyone’s loving on that chandelier, but it’s the paint that’s the hero! Love it!

  • Susan

    January 29, 2015 at 12:52 pm Reply

    I know exactly what you mean about windows and the ‘anger management’ from getting all of the tape off. Been there and agree that I will never do it again. Well, I am kind of lying because my bedroom project is beginning next week and I might have to do it. Love, love, love the chandelier.

  • Julie Perkins

    January 29, 2015 at 7:55 pm Reply

    Gorgeous! You’re a super-genius. People will think, “Huh, I thought that brothel went bust ages ago…huh.) Just kidding, it looks truly amazing and people will think, “Why didn’t I think of that??” Congrats!

    Julie Pee

  • Jengland

    February 3, 2015 at 4:25 pm Reply

    Grasshopper! 2 words! ..Frog Tape..go green (tape that is)Blue tape is out (and has been a pain in my a$$ for numerous paint projects thru the years)
    Chandelier in window is very unique (like you)and creative. Nice job.

    • My Crappy House

      February 4, 2015 at 12:21 pm

      You know, I’ve tried Frog Tape, but I don’t remember liking it any better than the blue. Maybe it’s my technique. I have a peel and stick handicap…

    • My Crappy House

      February 5, 2015 at 8:26 pm

      Bonjour! And merci! And that’s 50% of the French I know right there. Thanks for knowing English! And thanks for reading

  • dawn

    February 11, 2015 at 2:43 pm Reply

    I’m glad you’re back.You write so well that, after laughing with tears reading how you installed the sub-floor and the brick wall, I kept checking your blog first for a veeery long time. Unfortunately, I read reno/decorating blogs way more often than you post. I also appreciate applying science, research, and actual skills when doing something (kudos for the design and process of building the bookcase).
    On a different note, it was your post (and also Sawdust Girl’s) about handling a 4’x8’x3/4” piece of plywood alone that convinced me I can do it too. I actually laughed when the heavy structure of the angled headboard I was making crushed my toe, because it instantly reminded me of your adventure with the sub-floor.

    • My Crappy House

      February 14, 2015 at 1:59 pm

      Hey there! I never left… unless you consider 3 to 4 week absences leaving… then yes, I guess I’m back! Sorry my posting schedule is so infrequent. I aim for a post every 2 weeks, but I’m rarely successful. I’m glad Sawdust Girl and I could help give you confidence! One of my readers told me about this thing called the Gorilla Gripper that makes it easy to handle a sheet of ply alone. I wish I had known about it before I wrestled with my floor. There would have been less tears for sure… I hope your headboard came out awesome

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