Happy New Year! It’s freaking cccold! I think we’re setting records here on Long Island. Global Warming my ass! I’d like to punch Al Gore in the face right now… So, let’s talk about something related to heat. Radiator covers! Woo hoo! A fascinating topic that I’m sure you can’t wait to read about!
Here are a couple of pics that go way back to when I first bought my crappy house 2 ½ years ago and immediately ripped apart the whole thing. You may remember I had delusions of putting it all back together in 8 weeks. I digress…
I’m not really sure you can tell from that top picture, but the old radiator covers were disgusting. Under one radiator was a hypodermic needle and a tampon. Both unused (good thing or I would have had to move), but still… Ew.
If you read my “about” page, you’ll remember I said I didn’t intend to teach you anything. I guess I lied. Get ready to learn something…
Radiators come two ways: with or without the heating element, also known as the Sharp Ass Hot Part. I already had the Sharp Ass Hot Part, so I got what are called “dummy” covers from Slant/Fin. They come in the box assembled. You need to remove the Unstable Cover (which, as its name implies, will fall off by itself), snap out the Slanty Strip, and remove the F’ing Brackets, which are the little bitches that support the Sharp Ass Hot Part. I dropped a lot of f-bombs (sorry, mom) trying to pry those damned things out. If I had man hands (thankfully, I don’t), I might not have had any trouble, but my weak little woman hands could not budge those F’ing Brackets. Here’s where I really do teach you something.
Clamps are awesome. (You should definitely buy some clamps because you’ll use them for all sorts of stuff. I got this set from Home Depot for cheap.) As you can see, if you squeeze the top of the F’ing Bracket with the clamp, the bottom comes free from The Back Plate. I am ridiculously smart. Eventually.
The next step is to put the F’ing Brackets behind the Sharp Ass Hot Part. You want to avoid touching the Sharp Ass Hot Part because it’s sharp. And hot.
Now you can slide The Back Plate behind the F’ing Brackets. I will eventually (hopefully before I die) be installing hard wood floors, so I have The Back Plate sitting on scraps of ¾ inch plywood to leave space for that. I’m an optimist.
If you haven’t already found your studs, now is the time. Here’s mine…
Ha ha. Just kidding. That’s my boyfriend, Paul
Stud Rudd. Anyway…
Now you want to drill holes through The Back Plate so you can screw it to the wall into the studs.
Once that’s done, you’re ready to squeeze your F’ing Brackets back into place. Use that clamp trick I taught you. You’re welcome.
Now all that’s left to do is snap the Slanty Strip back in and attach the Unstable Cover. Note: The Unstable Cover will keep falling off. If you somehow manage to get it to stay, you should avoid eye contact and back away slowly. No sudden movements. You think I’m joking.
The end caps are so easy to install that I didn’t even mention them until now. Just slide them on. Two seconds. Done.
These two walls are getting the brick love treatment. Installing these covers was the last thing I needed to do before I could start tackling that monster project. Believe me when I tell you, you’ll never forgive yourself if you miss that post. Subscribe!